by : Robbie Pangilinan
Her name has been in every Filipino’s mouth, her face in every Filipino’s heart. After all, she has been a senator for nine years. Anna Dominique Coseteng, or Senator Nikki Coseteng, started her public service as a congresswoman of the Third District of Quezon City from 1987 to 1992. She then ran and won a Senate seat in 1992 and was reelected in 1995. She has mastered the art of being a public servant and is now mastering the art of being an entrepreneur and a school administrator. She is president of the Diliman education corporation that manages the Diliman preparatory school and the Diliman computer tech institute , a fast-growing educational system with one branch at novealiches, 222 employees, and 2700 students.
What many do not know is that Senator Nikki has also mastered the art of letting go—particularly when it comes to her family. More than 30 years ago, she left a marriage when she felt it was not worth working on anymore. “I have no regrets because I was able to pursue a career and have found happiness with the person I eventually became,” Nikki admits.
As a single parent, she has also learned to let her children go. “As a mother, I was always there for them and was not afraid to let them do things by themselves. I gave them a lot of space to be what they want to be, to learn on their own, and to be on their own,” Nikki shares. “My children are financially and emotionally independent. I don’t even have to make time for them, they tell me when they are free to be with me. I don’t get in their way. I have created my own world and I suppose they now realize how difficult and challenging it was for me to raise them single-handedly. And yet they turned out to be what they are today and I have managed to keep unwanted wrinkles away. So far so good!,” Nikki proudly relates.
Her two children are both successful in their chosen fields. Julian, 37, is a three-term councilor of Quezon City, while Kimberly, 33, is an executive of Johnson & Johnson based in Singapore. “My children are very passionate about the lives they have made for themselves, but I must say they are not passionate to a fault as I am! But they excel in their respective fields and are just as, or even more, committed than I am. Both are leaders and teachers in their own rights. They also love to learn and grow and develop themselves as a life long process. And they are extremely creative, reliable, trustworthy and have built very strong relationships and networks,” Nikki lovingly describes her children.
Asked whether her children will continue managing the school system, Nikki has this to say: “My son is more passionate about politics than business. He is not that interested in running a school for now. Maybe running a school is not for the young. You need a lot of patience and maturity. You must also be willing to give up a lot of personal time. My daughter is of the corporate world. That’s a different world altogether. It is different from being an entrepreneur. There is less stress, less responsibility, more time for family. Being an entrepreneur, especially a school administrator, I am directly responsible for the lives and futures of thousands of people,” she says.
Nikki confesses that she gauges her success and failure by how her children turned out to be. “While I was raising them on my own, the topmost values I taught them were sincerity, honesty, hard work, independence, self-sufficiency, gratitude, respect, being appreciative of people and things that influence or touch their lives, being able to recognize what is good and beautiful, and taking care of themselves and feeling good about themselves. Because I brought them up alone, it was very important for me to see that my children are able to contribute to the society. I cannot evaluate myself, but my children have felt and the people they have encountered have seen what kind of mother I am.”
The beautiful 56-year-old mother has also wished that her children will turn out to be good parents as well. She now has two grandchildren, 3-year-old Renzo and 1-year-old Ryan. “My daughter sees to it that her children are also brought up well. Renzo is a wonderful child. Very proper, disciplined, intelligent and demonstrative. That’s because my daughter saw to it that he’s that way and I thank God for that. I see other parents just leave their kids be. And it is a disservice to the kids. It is unfair to the kids to be brought up as brats. They have no choice and they’ll have to pay the price in the future. Ryan is only a year-old. He is extremely friendly, picks up words and songs quickly and has a great disposition. I just hope that all turn out for the best for these two kids,” the proud grandma shares.
And just like how she has learned to let go of her children before, she is doing the same for her grandkids. “My grandsons live in Singapore where my daughter is based. I see them just five or six times a year when I visit them or when they visit Manila. I wish we could spend more time together. But I am not their mother anymore. I am their grandmother and I abide by the schedules and rules my daughter sets,” Nikki says.
When together, “Grandma Nikki” makes sure her grandsons have a great time—in the zoo, the mall, at home, or wherever. “We have a good time playing with clay, reading books, watching TV or just being silly. There is a child in everyone of us and my grandsons brought out the child in me,” Nikki beams.
Looking back, Nikki wants to do the following for her children and herself: spend more time with them to get to know how they feel about things, teach them other languages, find a partner who could have shared her responsibilities and helped her in bringing her children up, take more vacations and travel to more places, and spend more time with her grandchildren.
But, without regret, the former senator goes on with her life—full of passion, intelligence, sincerity—and her hard-earned mastery of the art of letting go. #
